Borrowing here from David Letterman… hopefully he won’t sue for stealing intellectual property. Here are the top 10 things you may not know about the Suburban Wundermutt:
#10 – He’s left-footed and leads with his left when he runs. The great race horse, Secretariat was also left-footed. Pretty good company but I don’t think we’ll see the Wundermutt at Churchill Downs unless there’s a way to make a Beggin’ Strip Julep.
#9 – His mother gave birth to 10 pups and half the litter was from a different father. True Story… it is possible for a litter to have two fathers, and half his siblings look very much like big furry Chows. So, let’s just say the Wundermutt’s mom liked to socialize.
#8 – His real name is Finn from the 2008 movie, Finn on the Fly, where a teenager’s dog is turned into a human by the scientist next door. Somehow, that seems to fit.
#7 – Besides all the treats he covets he also tries to eat sensibly, including vegetables, whenever he can successfully beg to get those handed down from the dinner table. Wax beans are his favorite.
#6 – His favorite movie is Mel Brooks’ Young Frankenstein, and his favorite scene is when the audience is introduced to Frau Blücher, played by Cloris Leachman. Every time Frau Blücher’s name is mentioned, horses whinny in the distance. The Suburban Wundermutt is not capable of whinnying so, instead, he howls repeatedly at the mention of her name.
#5 – He has the ability to know when drivers from the US Postal Service, Fed Ex, as well as lawn care maintenance companies, the local dry cleaner delivery truck and Jehovah’s Witnesses are close by before they ever enter the Cul-de-sac Jungle. It’s a gift.
#4 – His birthday is August 23rd which he shares with the likes of NBA legend Kobe Bryant, “I Dream of Jeannie” star Barbara Eden, and former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle (wait what?) OK scratch that! He also shares a birthday with former teen heartthrob and 80s singer, Rick Springfield.
#3 – On August 23, 2011, his first birthday, he went into an uncontrollable barking frenzy about 90 seconds prior to a 5.8 magnitude earthquake that was centered near Richmond, Virginia but also affected the Cul-de-sac Jungle. Just as the earthquake ended he looked incredulously at those around him as if to say “WTH… did you not HEAR me?!?!?”
#2 – When asked the age-old Gilligan’s Island question to choose between Ginger and Mary-Ann he said Mrs. Howell? Apparently, he likes to follow the money… or really digs the name Lovey.
#1 – Contrary to popular belief he is not running for public office although several non-scientific polls suggest he would have a reasonable chance of winning. He made this decision years earlier because he just couldn’t get around the fact that he pees outside and has less than stellar table manners. Oh wait… maybe he could run!!
The Suburban Wundermutt 